Suziopath/Transcript
(Anita, Mercury, Britney, Becky, Selma and Jupiter band together to come up with a gift to give their parents on family day. They draw a card.) Britney: Who's paying for this? Mercury: I'm broke. Anita: Me too. Becky: Spent my last buck today. Selma: They won't give me money. Jupiter: And I blew mine on bricks of cheese. Selma: Let's just give them our love, if that works we'll still have money in our pockets on Christmas. All: Aye! (intro plays) (Elizabeth and Dolly are seen walking.) Elizabeth: I can't wait to get to the Gramercy Theatre! Dolly: Me either. How'd you get into it? Elizabeth: Favors were owed, we might lose our molars, one per screening, but we're getting in. Honestly, Suzy's the one who bought the tickets. Once she comes around we'll be getting ourselves some artsy goodness. (the two get there.) Dolly: Where's Suzy anyways? Elizabeth: She said she'd be waiting for us by the front. Dolly: Maybe she's totally running late? Elizabeth: Let's hope. I mean she never let's us down. Well, except for that time she missed by birthday, then she missed your birthday, then she missed my cousin's bris, there was that time we had to work at Cave Barn because she left before paying our bill... Okay she could let us down, but hopefully not for something as important as this. (a timecard reading five hours later appears. It cuts back to Elizabeth and Dolly. They see Suzy exiting the building with a clique.) Dolly: Hey! Elizabeth: Where were you!? Suzy: Who're you? Wendell: I'll let you guys settle this on your own. (the clique leaves.) Suzy: What? Elizabeth: What? What!? We've waited for five hours, we were dying to get in, and that's all you're gonna say!? Suzy: You're not missing anything, just a bunch of boring French films. Elizabeth: I would've preferred to come to that conclusion myself. Suzy: Whatever, I don't need any dead weight holding me down anymore. Dolly: Have you totally forgotten about all those years we've been together? Suzy: Yeah, you were there making me look good, but now you're no longer necessary. Elizabeth: That's all we are to you? A means to an end? Suzy: Who're you? Elizabeth: Come on Dolly, let's just go home. (the two walk away.) (later, it goes to Julie's house. Julie is seen heading downstairs) Julie: Ah family day. If I'm lucky it'll be the first time I have mom around, I mean sure she's around, but her career always works its way into it- Elizabeth/Dolly: Hi Julie. Julie: Gah! How'd you two get into my house? Elizabeth: Back door. Julie: What do you want? Elizabeth: You're a gold hearted girl right? You know just what to say most of the time... right? Julie: Most of the time. Dolly: We lost our third, and since it totally came out of nowhere, we were totally hoping for some advice. Julie: Suzy's out of the picture? Elizabeth: Basically. Julie: Guys, I normally don't like saying this, but I think you should be glad she's gone. Dolly: Huh? Julie: You see, Suzy can kinda be a jerk. Elizabeth: True, but, I thought that was normal for a trio. Julie: It goes beyond you guys. Wanna know why Ms. Chapley's been antagonizing me and my friends for so long? Turns out Suzy left an anonymous tip. Dolly: That's totally horrible! You guys totally go about things in your own cool way. Julie: RIGHT!? Elizabeth: How're you so on the nose about what makes a true friend? Julie: My mom. She's hardly around these days. Elizabeth: Because her career makes it difficult for her to be around and the only time she is is if her agency sponsors whatever even you're part of? Julie: What, how'd you know about that? Dolly: We were totally here for five minutes, we heard you coming down. Julie: Alright. But you get the idea. She willingly took off just to be with me on family day. It'll be just me, her, grandma and Artemis. Dakota: Julie, Artemis, I'm back! Julie: That's her now, GET OUT OF MY HOUSE! (Elizabeth and Dolly leave. They bump into a teenaged boy.) Elizabeth: Oh sorry! Ezra: Excuse me. Oh, while I have you I've got a question. Dolly: Shoot. Ezra: Do you know the name Slaatsky? Elizabeth: Of the Juneau Alaska Slaatskies? Ezra: Yeah! Elizabeth: They live near the end of the neighborhood. If you see the welcome to Chester sign you've gone too far. Ezra: Thanks!